Look Out This Is Going To Be Ugly

I really don't know what I was thinking moving away and thinking I would be able to handle it, I mean I tried it before and didn't like it why would this time be different. Granted my landlords are extremely nice, but coming to a city where I know no one is just not something I am able to do on my own. I know that I am actually doing it, but I really hate every single second of being away and I'm not sure why. It's not like I would go out and do a ton of stuff in Ohio, but I think its probably the comfort of knowing I could and could call someone and see if they wanted to hang out.

I know this is bitchy and really not being positive like everyone keeps telling me I need to be, but I guess I need to vent. Although I have vented to many these past few days (thanks to everyone for listening to my rant) I guess I'm hoping that maybe this will help as well. I really just wish that I could find the right job in the right place and I know this could be the right place, but I really don't want to be this far away from friends and family. Missing out on the bigger milestones for my nieces and nephews or even the little ones. I realize that I haven't been around for some of these, these past years because of work schedules or whatever, but the idea that it wasn't that far of a drive and it might possibly work out was always there.

Now I just feel like I'm lost in an abyss and not really sure which way to swim to get over this horrendous mountain that I feel is in front of me. If anyone has any suggestions I would love to hear about them, because after today I really am going to need some help.

I was at the school for the second time and got to get into my classroom to clean and setup, which was like a clean house episode or hoarders. The students who I did see were not overly friendly. I know I am the new person and they are teenagers, but really hearing I hope your not our teacher, and having them spout off in the classroom at anytime was something I wasn't really expecting.

Hopefully this will all work out positively...I guess I will see...