It Was The Worst Phone Call We Ever Got...

Funeral's always bring out the stories for people, about the person that has passed or others that have gone before. Having attended a funeral this past week so close to the day my dad passed away had many people talking about him at the funeral home. One of my cousin's wives talked to me about getting the phone call from my cousin, and not being able to understand what he was saying because he was crying so hard.

At first I thought I don't want to hear this I have my own story, however I do realize that hearing this just reiterates how much my dad meant to so many people which was shown by the number of people that came to his funeral.

Although every year this day seems to be so hard, it helps some to know how much he affected peoples lives. We have missed having you around so much that it still really hurts to think of what you weren't here for Bub and Shyguy's births, E., Turtle's graduation from high school and my own graduation from college. Plus all the little things the birthdays, visits, helping with everything that you could and throwing a really good barbecue. If I could have just one more day, conversation, hug, and laugh, but I know that wouldn't work, because I will always just want one more day, conversation, hug, and laugh.

Happy Birthday Dad

Today my dad would have been 73 years old. For some reason this year the thought of his birthday has really bothered me, I have teared up several times these past few days and this is all I can attribute it too. It just seems so unfair that he died when he was 66 years old. A year older than my Grandpa Ivan. When my dad turned 66 we had a small party for him, because he was so excited to have made it past 65, due to the fact his dad didn't, and one of his brothers didn't either. Unfortunately he only made it one more year. It's so crazy to think about, usually if I was in Michigan, I would go out to the cemetery and take a Big Gulp, since this was my dad's favorite there was always one in his truck. My mom thinks its embarrassing to see a Big Gulp, on the headstone. However, we have doing this since the day he died, and even my nephews will ask what kind of pop is it, making sure we got the caffeine free diet coke that Grandpa Pat enjoyed. Since I wasn't able to do this today I think the next time I'm in town I'll get him the Double Super Big Gulp.

Sadly It's Been Six Years...

This was originally posted on November 5, 2008.

It's been six years since I got the phone call that made me stop breathing for a minute. The call that no one ever wants to receive that your mom and dad have been in a car accident, you lose any thought in your mind as you ask if they are OK...hearing "they think mom will be OK, but dad didn't make it." Every coherent thought you have has just left you, as you start crying hysterically. Trying to reach family and friends, but not being able to talk so that they can understand. Wanting to have just one more minute with him, but knowing that it will never, ever happen again.

That one week was one of the longest one's of my life, it started with a baptism on Sunday, and a Funeral on the following Saturday. I remember some parts so vividly and others I can't seem to recall at all. I have never cried so much that I thought I couldn't cry anymore, and then crying that much more.

Things have never been the same or even close to it...Dad there is not to many days that go by that I don't think of you and wish that you were here to help and to laugh with. I still miss you so much.